I have come to worship
Author: Akyana Britwum
I have dwelt in the midst of sin for a long while. I delighted in it and refused to part ways with the destructive lifestyle that had come to typify my way of life. Today, the 15th of May 2014 I listened to a sermon on faith by Paul Washer. He spoke on Hebrews 11. He said something about verse 15 and 16 that struck me:
Hebrews 11:15-16 “If they had been thinking with [homesick] remembrance of that country from which they were emigrants, they would have found constant opportunity to return to it. But the truth is that they were yearning for and aspiring to a better and more desirable country, that is, a heavenly [one]. For that reason God is not ashamed to be called their God [even to be surnamed their God–the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob], for He has prepared a city for them.” [Amplified]
And I realized my sin. It wasn’t the bad things that my heart had come to delight in. No. It was then fact that my heart had become content with this world, with its current ways, its wisdom, and its entertainment. I no longer longed for the kingdom Christ was bringing. The things of this world became sweet. Their attractive allure held me fast. So that even my pursuit of Him was tainted. Tainted by a quest for worldly knowledge a worldly knowledge of Him. I did not delight in Him anymore. I could only appreciate Him from a worldly stance.
So I tried to cast away my worldly sins as I saw them. Lust for the earthly things I knew were killing me. Little did I realize that I was worshiping the world’s system and it had so corrupted me that my quest for Christ became a worship of the world. In other words, every tool that I looked to for emancipation became my god. I did not look to God. I did not want to nor could I do so. I was trapped and caught up in my folly.
But today, I heard the Scripture from Hebrews 11 and I knew He was reaching out to me. So I have come to worship my King and my God. As I worshiped I struggled to let go of the vain things that charmed me most. “Certainly Lord not these”, I said. Then I saw Him on the tree crucified for the sins that I held so dear. The image of how He gave it all up so that I didn’t have to live with my sins nor face the righteous wrath of God for the sins I was unwilling to give up.
“Lord” I prayed “I have sinned because I have not esteemed thee as I ought. But now at Thine feet I pour my love, my all, withholding nothing. Take as I am. Cleanse me, restore me. You are all I want, You are all I need. Fill me up anew.”
And so at the mercy seat where I found myself, I lay, waiting on my God and my King. I am still lying down. I have come to worship my God.
Humbling peace. We all struggle and God’s constant watch is that keeps reminding us of who are meant to be. We just need to listen…